My Life Testimony –
I was born into a family that has a strong Christian tradition. Not only were my parents Christians but my Grandparents and extended family were also strong believers. My parents were also missionaries. For the first five years of my life we lived in Indonesia where my father was a bush pilot. These first five years, despite my age, have shaped the rest of my life. I have always known that I am part of something bigger than myself and it has always made me feel different.
On our return to the United States my father became a full time professor of world missions. I was constantly a part of my family’s vision to show others what the world beyond their community was like. We often hosted international students, welcomed missionaries and prayed for those in other countries. In 1989 we spent a semester in the Philippines where my father trained seminary students to share the gospel in their own country. It was here that my own faith came to be.
While in the Philippines a family lost a young child. There was a funeral and burial and, for a child of ten, lots of questions. When I discovered that death was not our final resting place I wanted to be part of the eternal family and walked over the line of faith. From this point through my early high school years I lived with Christ as my center.
The Bible promises that God will not give us more than we can bear and He will provide comfort in times of suffering, a lesson not easily learned. In high school my parents went separate ways. The pain, anger and questions at that moment were more than I believed I could process. For the next five years I would wander in and out of God’s will for my life, even when it looked like I was walking with Him.
For three years I learned about anger. I took my anger out on others. I REFUSED to let others comfort me and love me. I worked as a way to escape the anger and engage the bitterness in my life. I did my own thing and it wasn't always honoring to God or others. God put many loving people in my life as I entered college during this time. I still refused the outstretched arm of others.
When work became unsatisfying I chose to run away from God by running toward Him. I signed up to spend 18 months in Ethiopia serving missionary families. I was trained, raised financial support and had the prayers of families and friends. Seven days before my departure I received a phone call, the men and women sending me did not feel that I was ready to leave and they had decided to send someone else. I was devastated.
During my devastation in 2003 I met a man. Someone who cared about me. Although I do not believe he was a replacement for my pain, I do think he was God’s big gift. He was the first person in five years that I allowed to care about me. He would eventually become my husband and love of my life, but it would take some time.
Even while opening myself up to the love and support of another person I was still unwilling to accept all that God had for me. I left my family, friends and future husband and moved away, once again, to work. And again, in an act of grace, God moved my then boyfriend within 45 minutes of me, provided him a job and a place to live. It was then that I began to see that God was after me and loved me. I could not run insincerely toward Him and I could not run away to a place where He could not find me.
In 2005 my new husband and I began to seek out the answers to our life questions and faith questions together. We committed ourselves to a faith community and felt God’s peace in our lives for the first time. It took us two years of listening to the teachings of God and hearing the testimonies of others, to commit ourselves to doing the same.
As we started to understand what God had for us and participate in his will for us we began to see Him work in a very personal way in 2007. God blessed my husband with a vision for his career and he blessed our family with a son. I experienced moments of peace and forgiveness towards others that I never thought possible.
From 2004 -2009 I still worked very hard. I had a very good job in downtown Chicago and was a part of the buzz of corporate America. I prayed that God would show me how to act where He had placed me and to remind me of what He had for me when it came to working and yet as I look back I see my ignorance to His calling.
In 2008 we suffered a miscarriage early on in the pregnancy. It shook us but we were able to stand firm because of the great community around us. It did change how I felt about work once again and I left my then job to do another, even more difficult, more time consuming one. I was still unable to accept God's plan for me to stop and slow down.
I was having regrets about my distance from God and it was hard to accept His forgiveness, but He has forgiven me and I am learning to walk in His footsteps and accept His grace.
During that time God placed on both my husband’s and my heart that we are called to minister to others. We were and are blessed to be able to minister through volunteering with and through our church. We also found that God had a hope and a future for our family. We continued to pray for His guidance, grace and wisdom as we longed deeply to walk in His way.
Fast forward to today, Mid 2010. We have a beautiful daughter in our family, my husband is blessed with a job he enjoys and I am blessed and continually challenged in my role as a stay at home mom and part time employee of our church.
I am not perfect and I am still learning how to be the best child of God I can. However, I know , without a doubt, that I am loved and forgiven. God accepts me because He made me in His image and is ready and waiting for me to be a part of His plan.
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Are you ready for something different?Questions – Email me, I would love to hear your story, pray for you or encourage you on your faith journey! rachael.judd at gmail dot come
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